She comes home after school yesterday and reports to me that she has a note for me, but she is not interested because it takes up too much of her time and she won't be able to sleep in this summer and it would just ruin everything.
I take the note and it is about being involved in summer band. Practice would be 3 days a week from 9am-noon (summer practice), 1 day a week starting in April after school, and a few evening concerts during the summer months at local parks and band shells. You would of thought I was about to sign her up for prison or something. The drama that started...the crying....the I am NOT going to do it and you CAN'T make me. BLAH BLAH BLAH.....
Now, I don't want to be the parent that forces their child into doing something they don't want to do, but I know she loves playing the flute. She is always playing it and even tells me she is looking forward to next school year to be part of band again. I think this whole thing revolves around control and what she thinks. Or the fact that she wants to waste her days sleeping or her nights being on MY SPACE until who knows what time.
I gave her a couple options:
- Sign up for Continental Band and suck it up!!
OR
2. You will go to a 1 week overnight camp. (That choice would probally stress her out)
I also told her to think of some good reasons why she shouldn't do the summer band, and her only thing was I can't sleep in.
Am I being too hard on her? Should I make her do one or the other? Will this force her to rebel? HELP! I am new to this almost teenager thing.
8 comments:
tell her that she has to get up before 9am during the summer anyway (even if it is a bluff) and clean house. that would make me want to go to band camp! LOL that way the option of sleeping in will not effect the decision
Oh wow, she is sassy! Honestly, the idea of band practice every day sounds horrible - but that's just because I have no interest in music. If I were Alyssa, I'd go to band camp.
Stick to your guns.
Oh to be 12 again. When my kids were in middle school they were allowed to sleep in 4 days a week and had to be up by 9:00 3 days. Of course, I didn't always enforce it but it at least gave me a game plan.
I wouldn't make her do band camp but I would make her find something else she has to do a couple of days a week. Cleaning, folding all the laundry or cooking dinner a couple of nights a week might work. Hmmm, this is sounding like a plan...I might have to implement this in my house!
Girl, I'm learning right along with you!! My daughter will be 13 in August. If she really doesn't want to do band camp, then if you make her do it she will probably make your summer miserable and may not get much out of the experience b/c of the attitude. But then again, she might start enjoying it midway and thank you for making her take it . . Oh, I'm not much help!! If no band camp, then definitely help out around the house.
I know the kids hate to get up in the morning, but really what else will they do? It always seems that everything in the summer turns into a beg fest...they get bored. I'd try to make it her choice, but give her a not so good option so it looks appealling.
Based on this post I see similarities between her and my 8 year old...I'll be interested in what you decide to do so I can remember. Hey, but you gave it back to her with a choice to make...from what I have learned with Sissy is sometimes you have to give them the responsibility. Please let me know the outcome!
I think what you did is perfect. Dont let her quit and regret it later.
OH THE DRAMA!
Don't make her go, but maybe try sitting down and talking with her about it.
Tell her that she can find something else to get involved in but that you are not going to just let her sleep in every day and do nothing all summer.
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