My mind is working overtime right now. I am feeling a lot of anxiety over this pressing issue that is weighing on me. My oldest daughter has a cell phone and today while cleaning I decided...hey...let me check to see what she has been up to. Let me say I didn't like what I was reading in her text message history.
I need to confront her and talk to her. The hardest thing is that some of the people in her history are kids we know personally and who were bullying her if you will. This is all over some boy that she liked and for some reason it all went sour and now she (my daughter) won't tell me what happened and NOW I have to find out the scoop.
This teenage thing is killing me. She won't even turn 13 until October. Why did she have to grow up so quickly? And how can I stay sane and calm for the next 7 years?
Do other people read their child's phone history? I do pay the bill...Is is snooping? I am so confused and upset and don't want this to blow up. HELP!!
13 comments:
I feel for you! I do random checks of my daughter's phone too. I don't know what I would do if I came across anything resembling "sextexting" . . . God help me. Good luck with the talk . . keep us posted. Those of us with 13 year old girls have to stick together!
Oh my...I am not sure what I would do. I do checks on my sons phone once in awhile too.
Let me know how it goes...good luck!
Oh that is so hard.
i think that you are doing what you need to do. As someone who is just 26 without children though, when you confront her try and be kind. I know you will!
My kids are only 6 and 0, but let me tell you, I WILL be checking their phones when they are teens! I don't know if it's really snooping, I like to think of it as looking out for their best interests.
HOWEVER, BE WARNED: if she knows you are reading her texts she'll begin deleting them when she receives them. And then your source for the dirt will be gone forever. Sooooo.... be sneaky and tell her you "heard it through the grapevine" from another mom or something and find out what's wrong.
Hmm. I obviously haven't faced this issue yet, but if and when my kids get cell phones I think I will tell them right away that I have the right to check their phones whenever I feel like it. Course, then they will probably delete the evidence before I can see it, but still. ;)
Um. Has she acted very upset lately? Can you bring it up that way? I guess without knowing how serious it is I don't know what to say.
Gosh, this is a tough one, but I think you do have the right to do random checks on the cell phone, especially at her age and the dangers that are out there. My child is only 8 and doesn't have a phone, but some of her friends do. I already have been talking to her about people taking pictures and sending them around and saying things they shouldn't. If make it known that is a requirement for her to have a phone provided by you, then what will she be able to say? There is too much in cyberspace that our kids don't understand and need parental guidance.
I know you will do what is right for your family.
oh i am so sorry, got no advice as i am not in those years yet but i have 2 girls and i dread the thought of them....
I am so sorry - welcome to my world!
You are doing the right thing by checking/snooping. You pay the bill, you have the right. Just be ready for her to delete or set a pass word in the future.
Bullying is real. And really bad between girls.
Let us know how things go....
I'm so sorry to hear this. This kind of thing drives me crazy.
I personally think that you have a right to check her phone records any which way you want to. She is a minor, you are her parent. You need to know what's going on and knowledge is power. You can't help her if you don't know what's going on.
Take a deep breath before you talk to her.
Girls can be so mean. It's unfortunate.
I'm so sorry!
My kids are only 6 and 4 years old and cell phones weren't part of my teenage years so take what I have to say with a grain of salt!!! I think trust is easily lost and difficult to gain so be very careful so she doesn't feel you've betrayed her trust (I don't know what understanding the two of you had when she got the cell phone). That said, I wish my Mom kept the communication between us open. She spent alot of time telling me what I shouldn't do, or what I did wrong that I was fearful and never talked to her about my feelings or what was going on in my life when I was a teenager and well into my 20's.
you better believe I will be doing the same thing. I am so sorry... let us know what happens, saying a prayer right now!
We are not there yet, but I know we will be. The teenage thing scares me. Good luck {hugs}
what great advice from everyone.
girls are so mean. I remember 6th grade and it was awful!!!
good luck and I also think trying to come up with the best way to get her to want to talk and share w/ you.
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